Subtractive Love

What does Southwest Airlines, a six-month podcast hiatus, and Jesus’ words to Martha have in common? This episode explores why adding more to your life may be quietly costing you what matters most—and how learning to subtract might be the most loving decision you make.

"Remember, you are loved, so go, love better!"

Transcript

Something is happening this year.  Something horrible and completely unnecessary.  On January 27th, 2026 my favorite airline is adding a feature that is going to ruin them.  I’m calling it here and now – sell your Southwest Airline stocks because they are adding assigned seating.  Because sometimes adding a feature is the worst thing you can do.

I’m Scott Beyer and this is the Love Better podcast where we explore the truths and lies about love and more importantly how to turn love into a skill – something we can get better at and hone along the way.

            Happy new year!  I don’t know about you, but  I need to start out my new year with an apology.  The last episode of the Love Better podcast aired on June 10th.  That is six months ago.  I took a 180 day hiatus from the podcast and I have no good excuse… but I do have an explanation.  I decided to pull a Southwest airlines.  I tried to add too many features and lost track of what I love along the way.

            Now, do not mistake me – I’m a huge Southwest Airline fan.  I LOVE flying Southwest, (incidentally their stock ticker is LUV – so Southwest even gets my Love Better vote.) I have a big family and we’ve used them for years. Why you ask?  Because of something they don’t do – they don’t assign seats.  I have nine kids – do you know how hard it is to get assigned seating for 11 people together? IMPOSSIBLE!!! But not on Southwest, oh no, they do festival seating.  Board and sit where you want.

            In 1967, two men founded Southwest Airlines.  Herb Kelleher and Rollin King initially designed the enterprise on the back of a napkin.  That is no exaggeration – a triangle of three cities – Dallas, San Antonio, and Houston.  They would fly to those major cities and the concept was simple.  Less.  Cut out the seating assignments.  Cut out the first class, business class, and coach class distinctions.  Everyone has the same snacks and same choices.  They even cut out the middle man.  If you want to buy a flight, you can’t use the typical secondary travel sites and services.  You book directly through Southwest – no third-party websites.

            And it worked.  In the early years, they started with three Boeing 737’s and flew about half a million passengers a year.  By 2010, they had over 500 airplanes and shipped over 100 million passengers.

            They did more with less.  And that is the lesson that matters.  Most of the time subtracting things is more important than adding things.

            When Paul talked to Timothy about what was needed if he was going to be an effective preacher of the gospel – this is what he said:

            You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also. Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops. Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything. (2 Timothy 2:1-7)

            Three things are key to being effective:

#1 Like a soldier, don’t get entangled with things that don’t matter.

#2 Like an athlete, no the rules because they will tell you what matters.

#3 Like a farmer, work hard and the crop will come.

            Every New Year we try and add stuff.  Add a workout routine.  Add a new hobby.  Add a new reading goal. We take our already packed lives and then try to cram one more thing into it to be more successful, but what if we are doing it wrong?  What if the best way to love the Lord is to subtract instead of add?

Martha tried to add more serving to please Jesus and He told her she was distracted.  To be exact – His words are: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things; but one thing is needed.”

The Pharisees tried to add rules and traditions so that they could be MORE righteousness and Jesus rebuked them for “making void God’s word for their traditions”

The entire New Testament warns against this sort of addition mentality.  Where if we do more we can be worth more… but here is the truth – your value isn’t found in more, it’s found in God and He is the one thing that is necessary.

Martha didn’t need to do more stuff, she had to stop doing stuff and sit at the Master’s feet.

The Pharisees didn’t need to make more laws for everyone else, they needed to return to following God’s laws and working their own salvation out with fear and trembling.

Last time I checked, “being busy” is not a Fruit of the Spirit.

You want to know how I went six months without a podcast? That’s how. Addition without any subtraction.

And then what happens is the things that really matter get subtracted instead.

Board game night with your kids. An evening walk with your spouse. A few quiet minutes to pray and read Scripture.  Added busy subtracts those things.

Remember what Jesus said? “but one thing is necessary.”

Southwest enjoyed a meteoric rise as an airline because they figured out the necessary thing – cheap fares, kind and efficient service, and safe, consistent flights.  Assigned seating, fancy meals, even extra legroom – those were all secondary.

So, this New Year – what’s the necessary thing?

Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? (Matthew 16:24-26)

Your soul is the only thing eternal about you.  If you gain the whole world and lose your soul, that’s a bad trade.

Souls matter. Stuff doesn’t.

Solomon tells us where every soul is headed when he says, “before the silver cord is snapped, or the golden bowl is broken, or the pitcher is shattered at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern, and the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it. (Ecclesiastes 12:6-7)

All souls lead to God.  The spirit will return to God who gave it.

The one thing that is necessary is to love God because to God is where you are going.

So, maybe it is time to start subtracting.

This year, instead of talking about what you are going to add, talk about what you are going to get rid of.

Stop over-committing to things because if you over-commit then you can’t do anything well.  That’s a problem for people who have promised that “whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.” (Colossians 3:23-24)

Slow down and quit being so frantic with your behavior.  Instead of twenty things you aren’t going to get done, choose three and be content.  After all, 1 Timothy 6 tells us “godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. (1 Timothy 6:6-7)

And slowing down allows you to focus on the people right in front of you, meditate on the word that should dwell in you, and pray to the God Who holds your future in His hands. 

Subtract excess entertainment and social media obsession – who cares what Hollywood and Instagram followers think of you.  You work for Jesus, not them, and as Jesus says, “"And do not be afraid of those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. "Are two sparrows not sold for an assarion? And [yet] not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. "But even the hairs of your head are all counted. "So do not fear; you are more valuable than a great number of sparrows. (Matthew 10:28-31)

Cut out materialism – maybe get rid of some stuff and don’t replace it with other stuff.  Obsession with wealth and things has a way of rotting the soul.  We cannot serve God and wealth and when you give it away the real blessings show up because it is more blessed to give than to receive and moths and rust can’t destroy heavenly treasures.

Subtract excessive worry.  Have a worry? Write it down and then pray about it.  Writing it down means your brain doesn’t have to keep holding it and praying about it means you can subtract it from your heart, too.

If you aren’t sure where to start – start with one app on your phone that you use consistently, but don’t need.  It is a time waster instead of a faith, hope, and love increaser.  One app – that’s it.

And if you just thought of an app on your phone and immediately that, “But not that one!”…. that’s the one.  Do it.  I promise you won’t die.

Because it is freeing to get rid of things. To separate yourself from things that hinder, distract, and entangle.

And here is another thing with subtraction – it’s not just freeing.  It’s honest.  Because if you are a chronic overcommitter and excessive worrier… you’ve been lying to people for years.

And I can prove it to you.

Have you ever said yes to someone on the outside, but on the inside you feel resentment even as you said it?  Someone asked for your help and you didn’t want to give it, but you committed anyway.

Congratulations – you lied.  Jesus tells us that our ‘Yes needs to mean yes’ and our ‘No needs to mean no’ and anything else is from the evil one.  If you say, yes, but you mean no – that’s a problem.

Subtractive love means you love people enough to be honest with them.  You mean what you say.  If you choose to make a sacrifice for others they will know you did it as a cheerful giver because you don’t say yes to everything, you say yes when you mean it.

Words mean more when they have that kind of weight behind them.

And our actions become driven by love because we are “speaking the truth in love” and because “love rejoices in the truth”

Sadly, many of us are like Southwest – we start with less and then start adding things to make it better.  It’s a natural mistake to make – who doesn’t want more?

But sometimes less IS more.  And in the frenetic pace of life where we are notified by our phones of thousands of events that don’t matter and most businesses are in the attention economy… subtraction is the only way to be free.

Ever wonder how Jesus found time to pray in the wilderness with all the people wanting Him to heal them? Or teach the apostles one-on-one when all society clamored for a speech from the Master?

He found it by subtracting the things that didn’t matter… and when you’ve finished subtracting all the things that don’t matter, all you will be left with is meaning.

And believe me, you’ll love it.

Learn to love better.  Learn to subtract the things that aren’t necessary.

As always, thank you for listening and hopefully we've done something to help make your life a little bit better.  Especially now, thank you for your grace in my six month hiatus.  If you are listening to this, you are truly a loyal listener and I’m grateful for you.

If you are looking for other resources you can visit my website BibleGrad.com where you can find tools for Bible study and video lessons to help you understand the Bible.  If you are interested, you can sign up for a video series challenge through the website called the #HopeDoes challenge.  Two short videos each week and a chance to grow in your hope by doing hopeful things.  Just go to BibleGrad.com, scroll down and enter your email to get started.

Or maybe you have a fun or obscure history account, a feel-good news story, or a riveting scientific fact you think could help us love better.  If so, I’d love to hear it!  Feel free to email me at scott@biblegrad.com 

And if you are ever in the Louisville, KY area, I’d like to invite you to come worship with me and my family at the Eastland congregation.  We meet for worship every Sunday and have Bible classes for all ages on Wednesdays, too.  If you want more information about Eastland, visit us at eastlandchristians.org.  We would love to worship God with you and help you on your walk of faith.

And as always, until next time, “Remember, you are loved, so go… love better.”