Anonymous Love

Anonymity, Providence, and the best night light story ever.

Let's learn to love anonymously.

"Remember, you are loved, so go, love better!"

New episodes drop on Tuesdays.

Transcript

Where the Providence river meets the Narra-gan-zett bay lies the city of Providence, RI.  Providence is the biggest city in the smallest state of America.  As far as major cities go – it’s quaint but urban, adorably bustling, and eclectic while still feeling like a city of importance.  The buildings have history, in a city that started in 1636 as a port of harbor, the place is filled with connections to commerce, naval trade, and much of the American jewelry industry finds its roots in the city of Providence.  The architecture is varied - You can find architecture from Colonial to Tudor style all on the same block and from the winding riverwalk, you can see tugboats meandering the harbor, or stroll by Brown University all while enjoying a good cup of coffee because it turns out Providence also sports the highest concentration of coffee shops of any city in the U.S.  Right now, all of Seattle just took a collective gasp of shock. Astonishingly, Providence is even more caffeinated than Starbucks hometown. Who knew?!

All those things are nice, but you know what I love about Providence?  I love how their lights flicker.

I’m Scott Beyer and this is the Love Better podcast where we explore the truths and lies about love and more importantly how to turn love into a skill – something we can get better at and hone along the way.

            Every night at 8:30 in Providence, Rhode Island, the lights flash.  The skyscrapers, hotels, the campus lights, even the tugboats at the harbor, and as you closely you will see it isn’t just the buildings – there are people standing on rooftops with flashlights, cars flick their highbeams back and forth, and even late night bicyclists stop, point their headlamps, and blink three times.

            Because at 8:30, every night in Providence, RI the city says goodnight to the children of Hasbro Children’s hospital.  And for kids with cancer, respiratory issues, heart problems, or just a tough case of pneumonia – this is the moment they’ve been waiting for.

            Having been armed with flashlights by the nursing staff, the kids flash back twice to the city that took a moment to remember them.  It’s completely anonymous – and that is what makes it beautiful.

            When was the last time your love was anonymous?

            The word ‘anonymous’ comes from the Greek – it literally means “without a name”. These kids are being shown care and concern by a nameless group of citizens and so, to them, it is as if everyone in the city loves them.  By removing the individual name from the equation – somebody loves me turns into everybody loves me.  Anonymity amplifies the effects by hiding the source.

            In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians he says “Love does not envy or boast.  Love is not arrogant.” Jesus describes anonymous love as the person who gives “not letting the right hand know what the left hand is doing” and that they do so “in secret”.  Anonymity allows the love to shine by hiding self.  You cannot gain anything by anonymous love.  There is no opportunity for reciprocation or notoriety… and oftentimes, there may not even be a chance to see the effects of love offered anonymously.  The only blessing is the knowledge that you have been a blessing.

            And the Bible is packed with examples of anonymity.

The Samaritan woman – don’t know her name.

The widow who gave two mites – don’t know hers either.

The blind man of John 9 who stood by Jesus even when his own parents wouldn’t – no idea what that dude’s name was.

The woman of Shunem that helped Elisha

The widow of Zarephath that fed Elijah

Or the boy of John 6 that contributed the bread and fish that Jesus used to feed five thousand

            Or what about the anonymous faithful of Hebrews 11:

[Heb 11:35-38 ESV] 35 Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. 36 Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. 37 They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated-- 38 of whom the world was not worthy--wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.

Who are these “some, these “others, the anonymous “they” who loved God more than all the trappings of the world? Those of whom the world was not worthy have no worldly name to be remembered by.  We have absolutely no idea who they were – and that is exactly the point.  Only God knows.

            To show love to others anonymously is to trust God to reward you.  It is an act of faith that glorifies Him rather than us.

            So, I ask again… when was the last time your love was anonymous?

When was the last time you paid for someone’s meal without being caught in the ridiculous “pay it forward” drive thru line? (I have opinions about the pay it forward phenomenon, but I digress)
 
 Or bought a grocery gift card just to hand it back to the cashier to “use for someone in need”?

Or mowed a neighbor’s lawn while they were out of town? Or shoveled snow for that elderly couple down the street?

How about leaving a positive review for a specific employee after visiting a business – those things get read, and far too often reviews are negative instead of positive. This is especially a kindness if it is a small, local business.

Leave a book worth reading in a public place to share

Send a card to someone with a kind word about them so heartfelt and real that it would be awkward to normally say out loud… but then simply sign it “A Friend Who Sees You”

Or, like my friend Paul Hawthorne, carry around a pack of gold star stickers and hand them out to folks proudly exclaiming to them “You get a gold star!”

Donate blood or platelets or sign up to be a bone marrow match.  If you are really feeling bold, did you know you can join a registry for matching?

Return someone’s shopping cart for them or buy flowers and leave them on someone’s random doorstep.

            Technically, some of these are not strictly anonymous, but if you are a person that appears in their world only to disappear a stranger soon after, it is as good as being anonymous.  To them, you are without a name.

Or perhaps the greatest act of anonymous love – pray for people.  They will never know, but you. Will. Change. Their. Life.

Jesus tells us to even pray for our enemies.  Anonymously entreating the Creator of the universe on behalf of those that hate, irritate, or harm you… that is definitely worthy of the statement love better.

And all of this brings me back to Providence.  Perhaps it is the fact that I have a child regularly making visits to a children’s hospital right now, or maybe it is the fact that the 8:30 magic minute of love is happening in a city named Providence – unseen people providing a need in small ways is poetic and I love a good piece of beautiful poetry in this world or maybe it is that this anonymous love is being shown to children – the group of people Jesus uses as the definition of “the least among you”… but for whatever reason, I realized something.

Every one of us is just like those fine people of Providence.  Maybe you are the person in their car just trying to get somewhere in heavy traffic, or perhaps you are the tugboat driver, pushing a heavy load of your own, or the student at university that feels they still have a lot to learn, or the manager of some mega hotel that could easily find life too busy and you too important to take the time, or the people on the rooftop who are in the middle of a party and who has time to think about something as depressing as a kid in a hospital… the people of Providence could easily find reasons not to, but they each of their own accord without notoriety or name, stop, point their lights toward the need and shine goodnight to the little ones.

C’mon, you gotta love it.  Well, done Providence, well done.

One of my favorite parts about the good night lights of Providence – most of them are handheld.  Blinking lights that each represent an individual reaching out from wherever they are – in a building, on their bike, standing on the shoreline, upriver and downriver.

Jesus tells us to be the light of the world and to shine those lights in a way that glorifies Him – if you want to love better, then stop worrying about who you are, or who gets credit, and just find your flashlight and start waving it around.  Maybe you have a searchlight to shine as beacon, or maybe you a light that feels like it is burning low… it doesn’t matter.  In the darkness, all light is a blessing.

There is a bravery that can be found in anonymity, too.  When you aren’t worried about the credit, it turns out you typically just aren’t worried at all.  Who cares what other people will think of you for your generosity or kindness.  They don’t know who is on the other end of the gesture, they just see the gesture.

One of my favorite anecdotes about the Good Night lights of Providence is the Brown University Sciences Library. The library is situated not far from the Children’s hospital and originally was not involved at all with the project, until a night security guard started using his flashlight each night just because you know – why not?  Today, the science library has installed an entire LED apparatus on their building complete with upgraded lumens and automated timing because the science and engineering guys got involved.  From security guard to library LED… because anonymous love makes the act of love contagious.  Forgive the pun, but it puts the spotlight where it belongs.

Learn to love better.  Love anonymously.

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And until next time, “Remember, you are loved, so go… love better.”