Love, Janie

This week is a little different.  I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Janie, and the three rules of optimism.

"Remember, you are loved, so go, love better!"

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Transcript

I’m Scott Beyer and this is the Love Better podcast where we explore the truths and lies about love and more importantly how to turn love into a skill – something we can get better at and hone along the way.

Today’s episode is going to be a little different.  I had plans for another episode regarding horses, the Ohio River, and the difficulty accepting love… but that episode is going to have to wait.  Today, I need to introduce you to someone I love.  Her name is Janie… and she died last week.  She was fifty-four years old. Janie is the epitome of all this podcast represents.  Janie was constantly looking to love better and she made you want to love better, too.

One thing that helps us live and love better is realizing we don’t have forever.  In Ecclesiastes, Solomon’s book on the meaning of life, he says, in chapter 7 verse two:
 
 “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart.”

There is a perspective we gain, and it affects our hearts when we consider the lives of those who are no longer here.  So, today, we are going to learn to love like Janie because Janie lived by a set of principles that I shall henceforth refer to as Janie’s Three Rules for Optimism.

         I'd like you to be able to visualize Janie because real people leave real impressions.  Short hair due to chemotherapy, short stature due to genetics, and expansive smile due to disposition.  Janie was a fixture at Eastland where I preach, everyone knew her, and everyone was blessed by her… but it wasn’t always that way.  Janie walked in one Sunday about two years ago.  Cautiously broaching the double-doors of the Eastland church building, Janie came in and sat down… and she listened, and she was polite, but she was also a little bit timid and a little bit shy.  You could have easily missed her, and to be honest, I basically did.  She flew under the radar for a few weeks, until one day, Janie came up to me after services and asked if we could talk.  I will never forget sitting in a side classroom with Janie, myself, and one of the elders.  Janie was straightforward.  She’d spent decades away from the Lord.  Decades being upset with people, neglecting spiritual things, living a life of her own choosing, and it all seemed fine… until it wasn’t.  Janie had cancer, it wasn’t curable, and after assessing her life she decided the only thing that mattered was the one thing she didn’t have squared away.  Janie needed love.  Janie needed Jesus, and it was time to stop running from him and start running to Him.

         Which brings me to Janie’s first rule of optimism.  See the way of escape.  Optimism is taken, not given.  Janie was diagnosed with incurable cancer and her view was that God had given her a revelation, not a death sentence.  Of course, the good thing was only good because Janie chose to see an opportunity, not a catastrophe.  And this is a Biblical principle.  In Paul’s first letter to the Christians of Corinth, he says to them,

“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

         A terminal medical diagnosis is far too common in this world and bad news is very tempting.  It tempts us to turn inward, count our woes, and embrace victimhood… but we are promised a way of escape, too.  Janie firmly believed that her diagnosis was the beginning of hope, not the end of it… she saw a way of escape and then endured the difficulties required to make that escape.  Instead of bitterness, she chose hope.  Do nothing, and the diagnosis becomes your identity.  

         Every situation has a path to light and a path to darkness.  Even seemingly good things like financial prosperity or relaxation come with temptation.  Friendship is good, but the wrong times of friendships can ruin you.  Work is good, but overcommitment can lead to poor priorities.  New opportunities can bring out the best or the worst in you.  So you have to decide in every situation – where is the way of escape? ..and the way of escape typically looks a lot like hard work, awkward conversations, or a slice of humble pie.

In Janie’s case, choose the way of escape and you find yourself having an uncomfortable conversation about repentance with a preacher you barely know… but I will tell you, that conversation didn’t just change Janie’s trajectory.  It changed everyone’s trajectory.

Which brings me to Janie’s second rule of optimism.  Find someone to serve.

         From that day forward, Janie became a fixture at services.  Openly discussing her latest round of chemo.  Meeting visitors and making sure they didn’t fly under the radar like *ahem* some clueless preacher had let happen with her.  Making sure that if you were alone and new and had the guts to walk through those double-paned entry doors, you may show up alone, but you wouldn’t leave alone.

         And because of her health, Janie had to retire early from her career… which left her time to volunteer at the oncology clinic where she received treatments.  On her days off, this woman went back to the oncology clinic that pumped her full of poison.  She kept track of the things that improved her chemo experience and made sure others were as comfortable as possible.  She remembered names.  She kept track of their progress.  She sat when she got tired… and when she sat, she listened.

         She grew plants and gave them away as presents.  She saw birds and a gigantic groundhog in her yard and made sure they were fed… and then took pictures of them and sent them to brighten others’ days.  In short, Janie found ways to serve.

         And when a terminally ill cancer patient who is recently unemployed finds a way to serve, it pretty much leaves the rest of us without an excuse.  Some people have a tenacity to their service.  They refuse to accept the idea that there is nothing they can do.  And if you want to see a biblical example of that – may I introduce you to a couple of Biblical examples of tenacious servitude.

         Mary of Bethany – in Mark 14 we are told that Mary seeing that Jesus was appointed to die and having listened to Him when He said He would be crucified decides to anoint His body for burial while He is still alive.  She pours a vial of perfume over His head and wipes His feet with her hair and does it stop His crucifixion? No. Does it fix the problem of sin and evil in the world? Again, no.  But it does honor Him by preparing His body for burial, and Jesus says of her “she has done what she could” – tenacious service.

         Or the Canaanite woman of Matthew 15 that would stop at nothing to help her daughter.  Jesus tells her that since she isn’t an Israelite, helping her would be like “giving the children’s bread to the dogs.” Her response? “Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their master’s table.” Jesus praised her for her faith and healed her daughter – tenacious service.

         Or the widow with two copper coins that amounted to the equivalent of a penny.  In Mark 12 she puts that money in the temple treasury and though it is very small, Jesus recognizes it as being of greater value than all the other contributions.  She had little, but she gave all – tenacious service.

         When we choose service, we are also choosing optimism because we are making a decision that we will give and that means we have something to give.  You cannot serve from a cup that you believe to be empty.  Serving others puts you in a position to recognize your own value, your gifts ready to be given, and it gets you out of your own head.  Proverbs 11:25 says it beautifully:

“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched and one who waters will himself be watered.”

When we refresh others, we refresh ourselves.  So, do yourself a favor.  Find a way to serve.

And then there is the third rule of Janie’s Optimism.  Every conversation needs Jesus.

A year or so ago, Janie decided she needed business cards for Eastland to invite people.  She had some specific things she wanted on there, so I put together a design and ordered 500.  And then I reordered.  And then I did it again.  In the last two years, I have systematically ordered more business cards for Janie to hand out than all other people combined.  Including myself.

There wasn’t a single conversation that woman had that didn’t involve the words, Jesus, God, church, or heaven.  And remember, she only returned to Jesus two years ago.  Janie figured out that every conversation mattered and it wasn’t worth talking about if it didn’t give God credit.

The book of Romans begins by describing how mankind became lost.  How did this world become so broken?  Why is there so much violence, evil, and pain?  God is obviously upset with what we’ve done to His world.  How did we get from Paradise to today’s tragic headlines?  Paul answers that question in Romans 1:18-21

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. (Romans 1:18-21)

Do you notice the causes of mankind’s fall from grace?  Two things: we stopped acknowledging God and we stopped giving Him thanks.  So, reverse that process.  Janie did.  Janie went from being an outsider than never darkened a church building to a grateful follower of Jesus.  She gave thanks for the good days – she acknowledged God on the bad days.

One day she was in the hospital and when someone called and asked her if anyone was there, Janie’s response was, “Just me and Jesus. So I’m not alone.”  I’m convinced that there is something about having an awareness of how limited your days are that helps you to not squander the time.  Talk about the things that matter because a short life ought not to be spent on trivial conversation.  Get to the heart of the matter.  Honor God.  Give Him thanks… and unsurprisingly, when you elevate your conversation, you elevate your attitude, too.  Optimism is an upwardly focused attitude caused by an altitudinal inclination adjustment.  Look up and you will find yourself buoyant in spirit.

So, there you have it.  Janie’s three rules.  Number one – see the way of escape and embrace it even if it is a difficult road.  Especially if it is a difficult road.  There is a positive outcome option and when you choose to do the hard thing, you find the way out of pessimism.

Rule #2 Be a tenacious servant.  No excuses.  Refresh yourself by refreshing others.

And Rule #3 Elevate your conversation.  Every conversation needs Jesus.

I’m not sure how happy Janie was over the years.  She had a hard pile of decades in there, but I know she died with joy – and I know she’s very joyous now.  After all, it’s her and Jesus.  She isn’t alone anymore.

Learn to love better.  Learn to love like Janie.

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By sharing with others or leaving a review on Apple Podcast, you help us reach more people. Also, if you want more information about the work I'm doing at Eastland, visit us at eastlandchristians.org or my personal Bible site, Biblegrad.com, where you can sign up for daily Bible devotionals called Biblebites and receive them in your email each morning, take online Bible classes, or find videos that will help you study through the Bible throughout the year.

And until next time, “Remember, you are loved, so go… love better.”