Love Better

Love, Mabel

February 21, 2023 Season 1 Episode 7
Love Better
Love, Mabel
Show Notes Transcript

Want decades of parenting experience in five easy steps?  What does it look like to love your kids and to love raising them?

What if we could make small routine changes that would bless our kids and make them a blessing.

Get ready for Mabel's rules for parenting.

"Remember, you are loved, so go, love better!"

New episodes drop on Tuesdays.

Scott Beyer: I'm Scott Beyer and this is the Love Better Podcast, where we explore the truths and the lies about love, and more importantly, how to turn love into a skill, something we can get better at and hone along the way. What are my goals with this podcast is to introduce an audience I love to people I love most of the time that exists in the form of interviews, but this person.

well, I can't interview her because she passed away this year. Mabel was almost 94 years old when she finished her journey here on earth. Snow white hair, gentle smile, warm hugs. The quintessential grandmother, she and her husband Jim, were married north of 72 years. They raised four children. Had 12 grandchildren and scores of great-grandchildren.

The first time my wife and I visited Jim and Mabel at their home, I had so many questions. After all two people in their nineties married for over 70 years. Those two people, they're living my life goals, but Maple, well, she talked to you about everything but herself. Hands, always busy. Good listener, quiet.

It wasn't until Mabel died that I learned she had rules for parenting. And let me tell you, Mabel's rules, they helped me love my kids better. Five rules, short, sweet, and totally practical. So today, We're gonna learn parenting from a woman who saw it all. We're going to learn to love like Mabel. I'll give you all five rules, but I'm also going to give you the Bible principles behind them because you know where Mabel wrote her five rules, she wrote them in the back of her Bible.

So rule number one, children should be contributors in the home. Do chores, make beds, sweet floors, et cetera. If we love people. We want them to be successful and that that requires training. Proverbs 22, verse six says, train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I want you to notice that that verse, which is so often quoted, says, training. Not discipline. It says the way he should go, not a long list of how he shouldn't go. Now, don't mistake me. Training does involve discipline, but this is a positive statement, not a negative one. What way do you want them to go?

What do you want them to learn? And the truth is, training means you're going to do things poorly. You can't succeed without doing things poorly First. Which brings me to fitted sheets. You see fitted sheets are where the rubber meets the road for this principle. In our house, there comes a point in every one of our children's lives where they learn to make the bed and the fitted sheet, you know, the giant slinky wrapped in fabric.

That thing that is the true giant of the process of making your own. And every single one of our kids, there's a day where they've got to tackle it. And typically it is literally a day that they have to tackle it because they don't think they can do it. And sometimes I'm not sure they can do it, but my wife.

She knows they can do it. So after the complaining is over, after the tears, so many tears, and that's just me. Eventually, at the end of the day, there is a bed that's been made by them with a fitted sheet put on properly. And they're so proud because what they've learned is that they can be contributors in the home.

That they don't need me to do everything for them. They can be independent and that that is a really cool feeling if you're a kid, to realize that you have something to offer the world you live in training. But it takes the time to believe in them and to believe they can be contributors in the home.

First Corinthians 13 tells us that love believes all things. It believes in not just what our kids are now, but it also believes in what they can be. They can be productive. It's so much easier to do things for your kids. But when you look at somebody like Mabel, she made 'em. and then they learned they could work and that made all the difference.

Which brings us to rule number two. Eat dinner as a family around the table. Love takes time. Family bonds don't just happen. They're made and they're solidified. And they're strengthened by time devoted to one another. Smartphones down, eyes locked conversation had, these are not complicated things, but they are things that must be done intentionally.

And you know what? That's not just Mabel. Jesus did the same thing. Jesus ate meals with who? Tax collectors and sinners that he was building bonds. so that someday they would stop being tax collectors and sinners. Those meals, in fact, were what his detractors used to accuse him. In Matthew chapter nine, when the Pharisees saw who he was eating with, they said to his disciples, why is your teacher eating with the tax collectors and sinners?

But when Jesus heard this, he said, it is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are. It is those meals where Jesus was being the great physician. It is the meals that you spend with your family where you're gonna have a chance to find out the heartaches that they have, the problems they're facing, the successes they've had, all the things that matter to them.

They come out between the green beans and dessert. This is what time does. It opens the door for us to build bonds and to learn about needs, and your kids are always changing, and if you don't spend that time, you will miss some changes. This is one of the other reasons that we're told in one Corinthians 13 that love is patient because it requires time to.

Meals are a great way of building in that time. And by the way, when you're doing those meals, I already mentioned it, but I'll say it again. Ditch the phones during dinner too. That text, it can wait. Now. Rule number three, don't overschedule the children's lives so that God gets pushed to the. Our love is found in our priorities.

We know in Matthew chapter six, verse 33, that God tells us to seek first his kingdom. We also know that distractions can really hinder growth in the areas that matter. Have you ever attempted to get something done only to find the notifications on your smartphone constantly splitting your attention and lowering your productivity, or you are attempting to do too much so you do none of it?

Who isn't busy? Everybody's busy. Martha was busy, but in Luke 10, verse 40 we're told she was busy with something of lower value, not something of no value, something of lower value. In Mark chapter four, verse 19, we read about the seed that fell amongst the thorns. Jesus said it was choked out by those thorns.

And you know what those thorns. The cares of the world. Part of parental love is teaching your children to care about the right things and let go of the things that they do not need to worry about. An overemphasis on sports, academics, electronics, friends, or even those teenage year jobs can lead to bad priorities.

teach your kids not to overschedule. And, and by the way, one of the main ways you're going to do that is to not overschedule yourself. Make the things that matter, spiritual things, family things, God first, make those a priority and don't let the other things horn in on that time. Our time is our most valuable asset.

If you would teach your children to budget money, you should definitely teach them to budget time. They're only getting less of it. Rule number four, spend time. Outside. I love this one. Think about what the Psalmist talk about over and over and over again. David and other Psalmist talk about the beauty of the world that we live in, and what does it point towards?

It points towards God. Think about Psalm 19. The heavens are telling of the glory of. And their expanse is declaring the work of his hands, day-to-day, pours for speech and night to night reveals knowledge. There is no speech, nor are their words. Their voice is not heard. Their line has gone out through all the earth and their utterances to the end of the world in them.

He has placed a tent for the. The world that we live in declares that God is, Psalm 98 describes it so vividly as to even say, it's like the mountains sing and the rivers clap their hands to glorify God from babbling brooks to the sound of the winds of the trees of the mountains. This world declares God to anybody who will.

and perhaps the clearest of all verses on that is Romans one, verse 20. That tells us that the creation shows us God's invisible attributes. We are made to be filled with awe, to be found small in a big world. In fact, awe has been studied and they found that it is a seventh emotion, anger, surprise, disgust, enjoyment, fear, sadness.

Those are the six emotions that we normally would categorize everything under, but at they found out there's a seventh one, and it's called awe. It's the absence of self preoccupation. When you feel a sense of awe, it quiets your negative self-talk. When you feel a sense of awe, you understand you are small in the context of large things.

This is why we take pictures of sunsets and galaxies and mountain vistas. It's why we go to the Grand Canyon. Small feels good. It reminds us, I don't have to worry about so much. I'm not that big, but you know who is God? When we surround ourselves with only manmade things inside the house, around the electronics, all around stuff that we as human beings have made, we can begin to think that we are the biggest thing out there, but we're not.

God's bigger, get outside and enjoy God's handy. And last but not least, rule number five, do whatever it takes to make a connection with your children. We need to connect to have a relationship with someone. And if you don't believe me, I want you to go back. I want you to listen to episode two from this season.

Love. And here's the thing with connection. Somebody has to start that connection. And when it comes to parenting and loving your children, that better be you. God loved us even when we were still sinners. That's what Romans chapter five, verse eight says, the relationship begins with the parent. Make it count.

That means when you have teenagers, don't accept the taciturn distant way. Too cool teenager. Don't accept it. It's not, it's not okay for them to just withdraw, rush to the battle lines, engage the conversation. Force them to go on long car trips or errands with you. Make it important for them to communicate with you.

don't accept one word answers. Ask them about their day and then keep asking until they give you an actual answer. This is what parenting is. Most of the time it's being annoying, and that's okay. Your job is to be annoying so that they understand. You will always want to connect with them, and when it comes to your little ones, don't plug 'em into TV and device.

Figure out what they love, be interested in them. Maybe that's gonna mean playing with some Legos or learning about Pokemon and all the zillions of different Pokemon characters that there are. But it's not about the Pokemon and it's not about the Legos. It's about the kid. Give them an opportunity to see that you're interested in the things that they are.

And then, Also give them an opportunity to be interested in the things that you are interested in. If you have hobbies, can those hobbies include your kids fishing, butterfly catching, bird watching, stamp collecting, knife juggling. Okay, maybe not knife juggling, but all the other ones, those are things you could be doing with your children.

You could talk to them about it. You wanna build a guitar, there's no reason your kids can't be there. you. You like going on hikes. There's no reason you can't hike with your kids. Put them in a backpack. It'll make an extra workout. Make the connection and make the connection non-negotiable. You're the parent.

Expect the connection and then find it, folks. That's it. Mabel's five rules for parenting. Rule number one, children should be contributors in the home. Rule number two, eat. As a family around the table. Rule number three, don't over schedule the children's lives so that God gets pushed to the rear. Rule number four, spend time outside and rule number five, do whatever it takes to make a connection with your children.

I love Mabel and I can't wait to see her again. Someday. Heaven will be amazing. Learn to love your children. Learn to love parenting. If you've listened this far, hopefully we've done something to help make your life. A little bit better. Would you mind returning the favor and helping us by subscribing to the podcast through your favorite platform by sharing with others or leaving a review on Apple Podcast, you help us reach more people.

Also, if you want more information about the work I'm doing at Eastland, visit us@eastlandchristians.org or my personal Bible side Bible. Dot com or you can sign up for daily Bible devotionals called Bible Bites and receive them in your email each morning. Take online Bible classes or find videos that will help you study through the Bible throughout the year.

And until next time, remember, you are loved, so go love better.

Podcasts we love